This is so silly, but tonight I'm confused. There must be a reason that I didn't start driving 7 years ago like most people do. There must have been a damn good reason, because I shouldn't have created this terrible torture of present day for myself for no reason. I'm not sure why I never got my license, but if I knew I would be depressed and miserable everyday today, then I surely would have gotten it sooner.
There's just never been a push of encouragement in my house.. to do anything. So it all comes from your own will power and.. being the oldest, I didn't know driving was so good. I didn't have any friends who drove.. so I wasn't exposed to it.
I know that everything happens for a reason and if things hadn't happened this way then I wouldn't be where I am today, but I'm still damn upset about it.
I sit in my room and gaze at all of the doodles and coloring that I have put on my walls during my bored time at home. Goals.. dream boards.. ideas... plans... all over my walls to help encourage me to be the best I can be, but I am still miserable.
I just can't believe with all the hard work I put into my life... I am sitting here on my bed night after night... thinking about what I'd rather be doing. I guess that's why I have so many dreams?
I think what I'll do right now is work on another dream list... and I'll start writing everything down, because sulking doesn't do any good.
Love,
Amanda
Hi Amanda! Don't push yourself too much. Sometimes, we all need to rest and take off everything (not literally of course LOL) take things easy, don't be too hard on yourself. Take things one at a time and you'll see everything will soon fall in the right place...in the right time :) smile!
ReplyDeletethank you... :) I was being so hard on myself that night. I talked to my mom about driving and she says that I can learn parallel parking quickly... so I am excited that I will be ready for my test in... a week and a half!!
Delete