holding a grudge?

I've been thinking... 

I've been angry, upset, in a foul mood for a long time

what is it? 

I think I have an issue with holding grudges!! How do you handle things like this? When 

something happens that irritates or annoys you.. or you are upset about..

what do you do?

I realize that I STAY upset! I used to let it go... if I wasn't going to talk to the person about it, then I just let it go, because what's the point of holding it in? I didn't gossip, because I didn't see a point in it. 

Why spread more negativity? talk about it or let it go! that's it! 

Something changed though.. 

I couldn't talk to people the same way anymore.. things are different.

 I get pissed at the person... I may stop talking to them for a minute.

I get annoyed with them with anything they say or do.. because I'm pissed about what happened.  I may be distant, cold shoulder them... or do a number of other things.. 

swear... stay negative... I let that moment CONTROL me from then on... 

I'm wondering. is this because I'm holding grudges? Are grudges my reason for being so..

stubborn, jealous, angry, debbie-downer.

Am I even jealous? 

I know I'm stubborn.. for sure.

am I just miserable?

I am jealous of people... lots of people, who have friends... who get out.. who can do things they want to..

who are happy... 

I'm lonely, spend most of my time alone, work, don't have many people who stick up for me.. no best friend to talk to. Has loneliness done this to me? 

I'm not sure... but it's something I've been thinking about.. and hopefully with this next week things will change.

Remember that you have a beautiful life.. you are amazing.. this too shall pass.. if you're upset with someone.. talk it out or let it go, don't let it tear you up inside. live, love, and laugh.. the three keys to a beautiful life.

hug a friend, say i love you to a family member, spread love... 

and always smile.

You are beautiful!

Love,

Amanda