Fallen behind?

I think we have fallen behind in America.. I really think we have.  I see all of these people on blogs in other countries who have such a good outlook on life. I mean, I haven't had a bad life, but it's still hard everyday. I don't know how people do it.  I mean.. you see young, happy, married couples all around the world with one or two kids by they're my age.  All I do is sit here and wallow that I'm going to school and going to get a career soon, but don't have anyone to spend my life with. I guess... we just have different values and things here, but it makes me kind of sad sometimes.  I sit here and wallow and in reality I have no issues. I have a great life. I am just so full of myself ( i think) that I can't focus on anyone else right now. I try, but... I myself have fallen behind... in life.

I am just REALLY looking forward to this break.  I need to clean my room.. get back into my moon ritual cycle.. celebrate Yule the proper way.. make jewelry, work hard, wake up early everyday and get to going with things. I like to sleep, but I need to be organized and in order again.  I need to get all my clothes put away somewhere... I need to go through my things and give a lot of stuff to goodwill and other places like that... I just get SO depressed when I get home because there's just so much negative energy in my house. I try to get rid of it, but I can't... there's just way too much and I definitely can't change the attitudes of the people in my house.. i've tried helping them too, but with no luck. I don't know what to do. =/ Also, it makes me kind of sad that I started this blog as a look at spirituality and everything for me and a calm place to come, but i've just busied it with all of this negativity and random words... I might add a third blog and move all of these entries to that one.

I did just change this blog around a bit.. changed the background :) and such like that. I am in a change mood. I need to change things, so that's what i'm doing... slowly but surely. :) though, i like drastic change... so it's not making me happy to move slow, but we'll see.

haha. yay! this kid, they have been trying to get him to smile and another teacher just walked in and he started CHEESING! perfect. :) now they got some really good pictures and they're all excited taking pictures of him. hahahaha. they just popped like.. 20 in the past 30 seconds. :) so cute.