$$$$$

Ok... so we know that bills exist and we know that if we have a job we get paid a certain amount each pay check and we have to do certain things with that money.  If we don't have a job, we know someday we need to get a job, because someday we will have bills to pay and we need money to pay them.  


Ok.. so we budget. Then we realize.... "hey, all my money is going to this person or to this and to this and this and this... what do I get out of this?" and you realize... you get to live. you get to go on everyday with no one calling you for money and no guilt because you paid your bills.  Now, of course, things are always different for couples, people who are married, people with babies, people with all kinds of different situations, but for me.. a single young woman.. eh. it's getting interesting.  


So, I am a college graduate.. a graduate student at the moment... and I have a field placement, which consumes 3 days of my week and a part time job that consumes... 3 days of my week, oh and don't forget the classes which take 2 days right now.  So, I get money every two weeks from my part time job.  With that money I say "Ok, does mom need a bill paid? do we need groceries?" and if either of those need to be done, then I do them.  Then I think "damn, if i could drive.. this would be a LOT easier" can i drive? no, am i going to soon? no. So, waste of time thinking about it. Then I think "I'm depressed... sitting in my room alone everyday... I deserve some good" so i buy myself something. Something may be 50 dollars... it may be 5 dollars, but I buy something and ALWAYS online, because I don't drive so I can't get to stores. 


Now, I've gotten into this "Beach Body" thing, which is pretty neat.  It's a whole fitness program with a meal supplement shake that has all your essential vitamins and tons of work out programs.  I haven't tried the work out programs yet, because for now I can't find a way to fit 60 dollars into my budget.  Now, I took on this opportunity to make sure I get at least one meal a day.  Was that a healthy choice? I don't know, but I do know that if I don't have this shake... then there will be days where I don't eat at all. and this is healthy, which also helps. It's also expensive though. I'm a coach for the program so I save money on it, but is it worth it? I keep hearing "the fitness business is going to take off!!" and it might, but should I risk the only money I have right now on this shake? Maybe if I didn't have this shake then I could put that money elsewhere. Where is else where?


I already make sure some of my check goes into savings every month... so what else am I needing? Every pay I think about what I actually NEED and what things are luxuries. Sometimes I don't care, so I just do what I want because I'm tired of being lonely and stuck in a rut... so I shop. 


Well. the point of this entry was that... today is "jean day" at field and it cost a dollar to wear jeans, but I don't HAVE a dollar to wear jeans... so i'll be the only one not wearing them. If someone asks, then what do I say? "Oh, i didn't have a dollar" then what happens next "jean day" "oh i didn't have a dollar again" i mean.. i don't know what to do. and then there is a "tailgate luncheon" today too and I can't participate because I didn't have any food to bring to share. so I won't eat lunch around people today because I'll be afraid they're going to ask questions. I mean. what do I do? I feel so pathetic.... I get money twice a month. I do get it... I know I do.. and I am so conscious with my money.... 


maybe when I put my checks in the bank i'll start taking out 20 dollars, so I have some cash on me for days like this. That could work, right? I think so. OK. I can do that.


This month has just been kinda rough, as I'm sure it has for many due to the holidays... my bank took some money for overdrafts, which they shouldn't have taken... and then I was double charged for the shake. 


Well, if you know anyone who is interested in fitness or want to check out this shake, check out my websites: