Re-examining

I posted this list of changes about 2 weeks ago:

1) my brother moved out of the state almost a year ago already.. and is getting married in August.
2) I got my license
3) my sister is moving out this week to live with a boyfriend and transfer jobs
4) my car isn't fixed yet... and it needs to be so I can get to work after my sister transfers (this friday)
5) my parents are itching to leave the state and are growing more eager everyday
6) I have to move out, because soon I won't have a place to live
7) I have to get a better job to afford a place to live
8) I have to have a working car in order to get a better job

it's only been TWO weeks and most of these changes have already happened.  Some of them happened months ago.. some of them happened a longer time ago.. and a couple happened in just 3 days! 

I have always been afraid of what would happen in a time like this..  I wasn't sure I would ever get out of this place.. my place of -stuck-.  I've been holding back for so long, because I didn't want to cross any boundaries or make anyone upset... but as soon as I started doing the things for myself that I know I need to do... things started working out. 

I  wanted a dependable car from a dealership... I knew what I could afford.. I knew what I wanted. and I got it. and everyone was happy! and I thought everyone would be mad... I wanted whatever was best for me.. I know what I need in order to exist.. and I wasn't giving myself those things. I'm still slacking a little bit, because I feel bad and I don't want others to be upset... but that's not my deal. No one should be upset when a person is succeeding... everyone should be happy. praising that person.. happy for that person... I am always happy for people when they succeed.. so I am going to remember that... not everyone will be happy when I succeed, but I should be happy when I succeed... because I deserve it!

You deserve it! Do good for yourself. Do what you need to do to help yourself. You have permission to do that! Let yourself know... tell yourself that you can do it.. feed yourself positive words everyday, because you are amazing!!!


here's a picture of my car getting its first bath. :) 

she has been on many road trips so far! :) I still haven't thought of her name... but it'll come to me. :) 

oh... maybe it will be Spirit. :) that just came to me! :D

and today I was on my way to the store and I was sitting in the lane next to the old public transportation bus I used to ride on:

I remember the days where I used to sit on this bus and look outside into people's cars.. wishing I was in my own car. Now I am glad that I am on the outside looking in. 

Change can happen quickly, if you open up to it. <3

Have a beautiful day!

Love,
Amanda