I think

I think that I should do what I've done, so that's what I'll do.

Taking the first step is the most important step... sometimes it's the only step that matters because that is what gets you going. If you don't take a step then you stay. When you take a step you move. I guess the most important thing is... do you want to stay or do you want to move?

I want to move. but staying is more comfortable

Life is not about being comfortable. It's about moving. So here I go.

One day you think one thing and the next your eyes are opened to the actual reality.

You have thought all this time that you had one thing in your life, but really it was nothing. Losing nothing that you thought was something is hard. It may be harder than losing something that you knew you had. Why? Because you become aware of the false reality that you created and were living in. Then everything shatters. No one wants to believe that their life is a false reality and that what they thought was a safety net was actually a mirage that they tricked their mind into feeling safe with.. only to one day be awakened to the truth... and everything falls away.

Sometimes you want to stay... but you know you need to take that first step.

I could stay. But if I stay, then I stay. I've stayed for years and the outcome is that I've stayed.

If staying for years has left me in the same place. Then why not take that first step?

Why not explore, leave my comfortable space and evolve. The way I used to before I felt I needed to stay... and before I needed this false sense of reality.

Taking the first step is like watching the sky become clear on a cloudy day. It's like walking down the street and smelling the lavender and feeling the sweet, crisp air swirl around you. It's like listening to your environment rather than just hearing it. It's like communicating rather than straying. It's like light rather than dark. The first step is the first step. It's the hardest step, but the most important step.

Move.